What St. Peter is able to teach the married man (or how the first Pope panicked).
There are three particular traits that characterize a good, young, Catholic, married man. First, he has a deep love for his spouse and loved ones. Second, he is fearlessly protective, willing to sacrifice his own life for the sake of the family. Lastly, he experiences large amounts of senseless stress, worrying about how to care and provide for the family, and beating himself up because he is not able to do a better job. In addition to this, the young, Catholic, married man relies too much on his own finite powers, and finds security in material things rather than the power of God. At least, I hope I am not the only man who feels this way sometimes... Nevertheless, I think this is the ultimate reason for the amount of stress that he constantly battles.
Recently at Mass I was meditating on the scripture passage in which Jesus walks on the water—specifically the part in the story when Peter swims. And I found myself wondering why on earth Christ chose this humble fisherman to be the first pope, to be the head of His bride the Church? As this image kept swimming through my head, an interesting thought began to take form in my mind. Perhaps Jesus chose Peter because he knew that Peter was a good husband. What do I mean by this?
Although Peter’s wife is never mentioned directly, there are references indicating that there was definitely a Missus. For instance, the synoptic gospels all tell the story of Christ healing Peter’s mother in law. There is also Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, where he asks "Do we not have the right to be accompanied by a wife, as the other apostles and the brethren of the Lord and Cephas?,"(1 Cor 9:5) suggesting that Peter’s wife traveled with him. But the thing that fascinates me the most is throughout the biblical narratives, I constantly notice Peter displaying those very same characteristics laid out before, in his relationship with Christ. Not only was Peter married, but that he was a good husband, giving him the potential to lead the whole Church. Now I am not saying that every Pope ought to be married. But I think the same virtues are needed in both vocations.
Let me clarify what I mean.
I would first like to call attention to the fact that Peter is very protective of Jesus. In the last supper account according to Matthew, Peter swears that he would rather die with Christ than deny Him. Then in the garden where Jesus is arrested, Peter draws a sword and cuts off one of the soldier’s ears. When Christ describes the death that He must undergo to the Apostles in chapter 16 of Matthew’s gospel, Peter basically tells Christ “that will never happen to you,” to which Christ responds: “Get behind me, Satan!” In the course of these events, Peter also takes it upon himself to try and serve Jesus, and becoming agitated when he is not able to. On the hill of Transfiguration, he is determined to build three tents for Jesus, Elijah, and Moses. At the last supper, Peter is indignant that Christ was washing his feet. He also finds himself drowning after realizing that he is walking on water, even though he is a mortal.
Most importantly, Peter loved Christ. This explains why Peter immediately jumps out of the boat when he recognizes the Lord. This is why he runs to the tomb when he hears that Christ’s body is missing. It answers the question why he wept so bitterly after having denied Christ three times. Recall the profound scene at the end of John’s Gospel when Peter says: “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.” (21:17)
The problem that Peter constantly faces throughout the Gospels is the same problem many married man face: resting in the securities of the material world and the power of human strength rather than on the power of God. These securities can take the form of money, a job, a weapon, or really anything. A man always thinks he is the solution to every problem when it comes to caring for his loved ones. And so when he fails, or his securities are removed, the man does not know what to do—as Peter demonstrates time after time.
Throughout the gospels, Christ is constantly removing Peter’s securities in the material world, in order to teach Peter to place all his trust and his responsibilities in Him. And sometimes this meant Peter could not care for Christ or even protect Him. For instance, Jesus washes Peter’s feet, when Peter believes that he should be washing Our Lord’s feet. Jesus tells Peter to sheath his sword when Peter tries to defend Him. Jesus says “Get behind me Satan” when Peter denies any harm will come to Jesus. Peter is allowed to walk on the water before he doubts and sinks. And there are even more examples. The point is that by removing all of Peter’s securities, Christ is preparing him to lead the Church, not through mortal power, but through Christ. This means that in order for him to love perfectly, provide perfectly, and defend perfectly, his endeavors must be rooted in God.
But that is not all. The same virtues that made Peter a better pope are the same virtues that made him a better husband. Because when he provided, protected, and loved his wife, (in the same way that he loved the Church) he finally did so in the love, in the power, and in the shelter of Christ. Trust in the Lord will remove the imperfections in the love of a married man.
We must all strive to learn the same lesson as Peter: Never forget you do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Without him, you are nothing.
